College Graduation Photostream

SLU PhotoAlbum 2

Peter, Pedro, Pete... This one's for You Pedro Calungsod

It's a long time coming. For the second Filipino saint. But it did. And I am glad to have witnessed a Canonization rite. Now, we can really tell that we are blessed to have this technology we have now. Years back, when I first learned it in a seminar given by an Internet Cafe, LOL is a foreign word. Two technology I know I am good at:  Medical and Information Technology. Too much to accommodate this little brain of mine.

Read on Teddy Boy Locsin Jr.'s article:

http://www.interaksyon.com/article/46296/teodoro-l--locsin-jr---pedro-calungsod-the-patron-saint-of-boys

TEODORO L. LOCSIN, JR. | Pedro Calungsod, the Patron Saint of Boys

By: Teodoro L. Locsin, Jr.
October 23, 2012 4:20 PM

InterAksyon.com
The online news portal of TV5

That he was born, that he died, and how he died; these events are at least documented. That his death was glorious was recorded immediately after it and the process of his beatification to sainthood was started almost immediately, according to the postulator Cardinal Vidal.

The rest of the postulation for the sainthood of Pedro Calungsod is a farrago of speculation; such as whether he was born on this or that island of the Visayas which is worthless to know because he was to be made a saint of the one true holy apostolic and universal church and not of a provincial cult.

What is known from near contemporaneous records is that he was young; that he was trained as a catechist; that he may or may not have been able to read and write but, in the manner of the native charges of the Jesuits, he may have sung from memory the articles of our faith as the Jesuits taught the Amazon Indians to sing because they disdained to read the teachings of the Church. Sadly the Jesuits did not teach Pedro to fight as they taught the Indians of the Amazon who beat back the combined power of Portugal and Spain for a century.

It is recorded that Pedro was attached to a Jesuit mission to the Ladrones Islands or Thieves Islands, so named by those about to steal an archipelago; specifically the island of Guam.

His specific assignment was to carry baggage but not of the priests' belongings for Jesuits only had the clothes on their backs. The baggage contained the vessels to celebrate the mass. Pedro was therefore a baggage boy, a porter if you wish, but of our Lord Jesus Christ.

So he cannot be the patron saint of OFWs because he did it gratis. And he did what no OFW nor most people will do which is to share the fate of his master; to die for what his master stood. His master was the priest but the priest's commander was Christ. If anything San Pedro is the patron saint of logistic support services in the Catholic military order of the Society of Jesus.

Like Cebu, Guam was Catholic but violent. There were Chinese whispers - yes, the Chinese were already there - that baptismal water carried infection. While native herbalists who worshipped the trees - call them the first environmentalists - hated a religion that sought to cure the soul with words instead of potions made of leaves and juices that are antioxidants. They conspired to kill the Jesuits.

On the beach Father San Victores and Pedro had gathered the native faithful. To that beach came a furious apostate, a Catholic who had rejected Catholic teaching, and his pagan companion who had never known the faith. There on the hot sand they flung spears at young Pedro and Father San Victores. As befitted his youth, Pedro was light of step and fleet of foot. He hopped, skipped and jumped around as missiles flew around him. He may well have dodged the spear that killed him or fled from his assailants. But Pedro would not leave the priest. He finally caught a spear in the chest. The pagan closed on Pedro and cleaved his head with a bolo. Then both apostate and pagan turned their murderous attentions on the priest. The congregation watched in horror.

Stones were tied to the feet of the slain and their bodies flung into the sea not to be seen again until the day of judgment when, The Book of Common Prayer tells us, "the sea shall give up its dead."
Within weeks, the boy's beatification was started. No one thought of doing the same for the old priest, possibly because Jesuits are expected to die for the faith. The order was overflowing with the blessed. But this was a young native; new to the faith but in his unswerving commitment like unto a veteran soldier of the faith.

The Jesuit mission in Guam languished and in time closed until the anniversary of Guam miraculously recalled to mind an event near four centuries old about a young man who had jumped around on the burning sand, dodging spears, seemingly at play but never leaving the side of the priest. On certain nights, I like to think, a boy is dancing in the pale moonlight against the phosphorescent surf breaking softly on the sand.
Why is Pedro a saint? He founded no great order. He led no great mission. He died no spectacular death defiant at the enemies of our faith. His was a young man's life; an easy life as life went then; lightened by the bright company of good men; assured of meals though sparse; of clothes though plain, and unfailingly solaced by periodic prayer. It was just a boy's life.

Is this the stuff of sainthood? Yes it is because all it takes is a moment; a moment for which one must have prepared all of one's life, be that life long or short. All it requires is a decision with your life on the line to say, not with words but with deeds: I am with you, Christ. I am not with you.

Let me then reverse what they say of swift sweet things a moment on your lips and an eternity on your hips: a moment of pain in the sun; an eternity of glory in the company of saints and happiness in the presence of God. San Pedro is not the patron saint of a country quick to despise articles of our faith but the patron saint of boys; filled with energy; maybe a little mischief too, who know no fear, possess no guile, who live as though for the moment which is all we really have to offer Christ.

http://ph.news.yahoo.com/photos/vatican-names-new-seven-saints-slideshow/pope-benedict-xvi-attends-special-mass-canonize-seven-photo-092530540.html?fb_action_ids=531938996823198&fb_action_types=og.recommends&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582&code=AQDysgFSdZROKQN-BWQeGV77owMvJbstFetqkdNDgmd6t9PvuzAoHx7UpBzFedinFcB2PgKiA4vqxrFOjtUOSJDSJ2ZUGNibrSN5mK9WW-rCsdJJBvQm-IvzU8PtMndnJzcK1yReU-L-yKH6zGOyjH8J6B23BCeIDglYirc7dNtrHH8_EARpJDlOXzMCVny8gPO2KbV5qlQB1FhnCHze2Efr#_=_
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Lourd de Veyra's graduation speech for UP MassComm Class of 2012

Nice speech. Eto lang ang gawa ko ngayon, magbasa ng speech.Sa totoo lang before entering college, sa Guidance mas mataas talaga ang grades ko sa arts kesa sa science. Eh sabi kasi walang pera sa arts, at syempre mas bigtime maging doctor. Ibang dating eh ako, eto ngayon Med. Tech. Pwede na, diyosa ng malaria at MDR TB, hahaha! Pero as usual frustrated writer. Note lang, minsan ang attack sa sinusulat ko eh dapat literal, true to life, paminsan minsan lang ang figurative. For female readers lang ata pwede, di ko pa maitranslate para magets ng male specie. Or isang tao lang ang commonly di maka gets. Or baka di rin pwede basahin ng mga tumatandang binata. Napaka discriminatory, LOL. Itong linya ni Lourd ang tumatak sa aking isipan..

“Wag seryosohin ang sarili. Pero teka, kelangang klarohin ko ito. Okay lang ang serious, huwag lang solemn. Walang bagay sa mundo ang hindi napapagaan ng pagkakaroon ng sense of humor.”

Basahin na lang ang speech nya para may matutunan. Acquired taste nga ang pakikinig sa satiric style nya. Lipat na ng channel.Go kapatid TV5 :-)

http://www.interaksyon.com/article/30190/lourd-de-veyras-graduation-speech-for-up-masscomm-class-of-2012 

The Best of Chico and Delamar's The Morning Rush Top 10

Last Friday, I bought a new book titled "The Best of Chico and Delamar's The Morning Rush Top 10". Jamy is fond of listening to podcast of Chico and Delamar's Morning Rush. A fun to read book, no wonder it's a bestseller. As written here http://www.summitmedia.com.ph/news/5178

I'll write short stories and essays next time. I'm satisfied with the book, if anyone needs a laugh. Go buy the book, I can assure you, its one of the best book I have.It is really anti stress.

Santa Cruz LGU and RHU through the years

January 2007. Employees day of Municipality of Santa Cruz, Zambales. There were 4 Five Star buses.And this was our bus. We visited Zoobic Safari in SBMA.

 Christmas Party year 2006. In Santa Cruz Amphitheater.  May you rest in peace Ate Carmen Añonuevo, formerly our Rural Sanitary Inspector and Ate Eva R. Escusa, our Dental Aide.

Christmas Party Year 2006. Employees of the Municipal Health Office of  SCZ. Rural Health Unit-I and Rural Health Unit-II

Outing at DFARM located in Km 3 Baloganon, Masinloc Zamables last June 30, 2011

Ate Fel's Send Off at Sabang Beach with RHU-I and RHU-II employees, Municipal Councilor Kristan Rommel Misola, RMT and other guests. To reach the age of retirement is my dream. Ate Fely, one of the midwife in RHU-II had reached her retirement.May 2011

Ate Fel's Send Off at Sabang Beach last May 2011

Pinoy Explorer and Batanes

Among my favorite TV shows nowadays on TV5 is Pinoy Explorer. Hosted by Aga Muhlach.They're website is Pinoy Explorer Club.

Last week was the first episode about Batanes. Batanes is located in the Northern Part of the Philippines. It's one of the places I want to visit. It's a home away from home. Living in it's simplest form. My youngest sister had searched on the cheapest tour going to Batanes, and this is one of the site that she found Batanes Travels and Tours.

I'll visit the place one of these days. We should live life to the fullest. Life is too short. Carpe Diem! Cest La Vie!

Enrile to alma mater: Proud to be UP Law, even as UP Law has not always been proud of me

Senator Juan Ponce Enrile is one among my favorite politicians here in the Philippines. A good public servant. I am looking forward to working in the government till the age of retirement.

Another idol public servant is my mother, presently the Acting Admin. Officer of Ospital ng Santa Cruz. Another story for her in these blog in the future. First thing first. Here's Senate President's JPE speech.

Just click on the link. http://www.interaksyon.com/article/30195/enrile-to-alma-mater-proud-to-be-up-law-even-as-up-law-has-not-always-been-proud-of-me


Happy reading!!!

"Certainly, the lessons that a lawyer must learn cannot be confined to the classroom.  In fact, it is in the courtrooms -- in the hard, rough and tumble life of law practice, exposure to varied and difficult legal and factual issues, and in the careful and arduous preparation for actual litigation that a lawyer’s skills and worth are developed, honed, tested ever so often, and sharpened."

"But the enduring values of critical thinking, intellectual freedom, academic excellence, social consciousness, persistence, doggedness, and perseverance, and, most of all, honor and integrity, can only take root under an academic environment that nurtures them.  Such is the environment that the University of the Philippines and the College of Law of this university provides."

"May you all carry these values with you as you leave this great institution and make your parents, your professors and the U.P. College of Law truly proud of you, and may you all summon the boldness to make a difference in your chosen profession."

Drawn to A Furnace

The moth was attracted to the flame. Mother moth told her, “Stay away or you’ll get burned.” As usual, she had a mind of her own, she said, “Moths die anyway, I want to give my life to that flame”.

Little by little she goes near the lamp. Observing every now and then how the flame danced as it flickers it’s light. The warmth was so comforting, and she said to herself, I don’t mind if I get burned.

She knows too, something separates her from the flame. A glass barrier and she never understood how such a barrier exists. Maybe she told herself, for the flame to continue burning, to prevent it from being extinguished from the strong wind.

She can fly, enter the flame through the opening, but she knows that’s a stupid thing to do. Not her character to rush and do things in haste. She’d done that then, and she failed her purpose. She is a very patient moth.

She almost got burned once. But up to that point that she had to fly near the flame she had changed her mind. A very close call, maybe she’s scared after all. She’s just pretending to be fearless but the truth is she’ll be first one to run when it’s time to go. The flame then run out of gas and had stopped burning.

And then, here she is again. She is planning to give her life to another flame, a hotter furnace, brighter lamp and a special kind of fuel. This time she told herself, I will not be scared.  Patiently she’s waiting for the glass barrier to be removed. The master will remove it, she’s confident of that.

I’ll wait, she said, it’s a chance in a lifetime. I’ll give my life to that flame, I won’t mind if I’ll lose my life that way. At least I had done something that only 10% of the moth population had ever done. This is to offer one’s life without asking anything in return. It may be stupid for some, but my story will live on.

The flame will notice that, this I know, that for the whole time that it keeps on burning, one moth had the courage to go beyond what others never did. And for the flame, that moth will always be very special, the only moth who is willing to give her life for him. God is good, the flame said, finally a moth meant for him. He’s glad he waited.

Of Shadows and Sundials

Sundial Dreams by Kevin Kern

I am a research addict. That’s why google is my favorite search engine. I search even my name every now and then. Thus I searched “his” name. And one of the results was a music sheet titled, Sundial Dreams by Kevin Kern. From such I know that he’s a pianist. Like my mentors (who are both younger than me) and my first boyfriend.

I had my first boyfriend when I was 25 years old. He’s a nurse, also a pianist. I even gave him some of my piano pieces, those very difficult ones. He was the one who kept on telling my mother, “God willing, Ma”. But again no matter how much you wanted something, when it still not’s God’s time and plan, you would not end up together. We move on with our lives, he’s married now, and migrated to US.

What about shadows and sundials?

“Never fear shadows they simply mean there is light shining somewhere”
-tpp,md march 23, 2012 3am

TEOF76,MD and the SUNDIAL AT THE GRIFFITH OBSERVATORY, LA,CA, USA

FRANCIS with the SUNDIAL, a close up Shot

There are three factors to cast a shadow. A light source, an object and the angle and distance from the light source. Sundials are made from that theory. One can tell time by using such. But well they all rely on the light source, the sun.

If I am the sun, the brightest star, why would I fear a mere shadow? Shadows rely on my light for their existence. I don’t really care how many shadows produced by my extensive light, I am here to shine, and that’s why I do best. Then I’ll do that for the rest of my life.

Done were the days I am just a mere shadow. Just be the one among the rest. There always a time to shine. Someone did come and said “Why are you keeping it, your talents, your skills, and your capacity to be a “sun”. Somebody has to do it, and this time God chose you. And you have no choice but to do it now.”

A shadow is just a shadow. Very few notice it, only those who fear the intense heat of the sun and those who are tired of too much sun exposure. Vampires surely, they’ll gladly appreciate a shadow.

One more thing, if one is afraid of a shadow, what will happen if there’s total darkness? No light at all. One can be disoriented, lost and a living dead perhaps. (Just a thought)

There a song I’ve learned when I was in high school choir, it goes. “Be not afraid, I go before you always, Come, follow me and I will give you rest”. We sung this song during a Baccalaureate Mass of 1994 in SLU – Baguio City, when again I was a member of LITCOM Ministry of Sacred Music. That same song was our entrance song.

So I never fear anything, dark alleys, darkness, sickness, broken relationships and storms. Why would I be, God says so, “Be not afraid”. And surely I won’t.

And as for shadows, I really appreciate shadows casted through my light. I just hope that during those times that they were my shadows, they have learned a lot, and when it’s their time, I hope they allow themselves to shine.

JAMY at the GRIFFITH OBSERVATORY

THE GRIFFITH OBSERVATORY

Griffith Observatory is a facility in Los Angeles, California sitting on the south-facing slope of Mount Hollywood in Los Angeles' Griffith Park. It commands a view of the Los Angeles Basin, including Downtown Los Angeles to the southeast, Hollywood to the south, and the Pacific Ocean to the southwest. The observatory is a popular tourist attraction with an extensive array of space and science-related displays. Since the observatory opened in 1935, admission has been free, in accordance with Griffith's will.

3,015 acres (12.20 km²) of land surrounding the observatory was donated to the City of Los Angeles by ColonelGriffith J. Griffith on December 16, 1896.^[1] In his will Griffith donated funds to build an observatory, exhibit hall, andplanetarium on the donated land. Griffith's objective was to make astronomy accessible by the public, as opposed to the prevailing idea that observatories should be located on remote mountaintops and restricted to scientists.^[2]

Griffith drafted detailed specifications for the observatory. In drafting the plans, he consulted with Walter Adams, the future director of Mount Wilson Observatory, and George Ellery Hale, who founded (with Andrew Carnegie) the first astrophysical telescope in Los Angeles.^[2]

Griffith_Observatory On Wikipedia

Official Site of Griffith Observatory

More than an Open (Love) Letter

Someone told me he prefers an open (love) letter. This is my blog, some of the entries here are love letters (sort of). I don’t know if he knows that this blog exists. This whole blog is not just a letter, rather an open book.



Writing is a talent I had perfected since I was in elementary days. My father was a seaman. But unlike other seaman who sees their work as a profession, my father did not see it that way. He viewed his work as a means to earn more. So he’ll work for 2 straight years abroad, saved some money. Returned here in the Philippines, invested that money to any business that he liked, which most of the time goes bankrupt (I don’t why) and then go back again for work abroad. His earnings were the one we used to finance our college education. My mother’s salary was not enough.



Mama urged as always to write letters. She told us that life abroad is difficult. So that when Papa was not that busy He had something to read; to remind him of home. So write we did. My youngest sister, on her letters, would even tell stories about her pet dogs and cats. My parent’s sacrifices had been the catalyst for us to strive more. We knew that education was our way out of poverty. We did not let our parents down. My father is now a retired seaman, my mother soon to be a retired government employee. And us their daughters are all employed and have our own careers. Our parents’ sacrifices had been our inspiration.




Only a few had the time to write now. There’s internet, and it had made our world smaller. Communicating with our love ones is a lot easier.

Why I prefer writing here? One reason, I could easily preview my work prior to publication. Blogspot is a writer’s world. And editing is easier. Unlike on facebook, once you posted it on the wall, you can no longer edit it.

Not all people have the maturity to accept that some will share their life on a blog like this. Only a few will prefer an open “love letter”. It’s like telling the whole world that if you had the talent why not express it. It’s useless if you just keep it. God gave it to you so better make use of it. I write not just to document the events of the day but also to share my ideas. My grandparents are good story tellers, some of those stories died with them. So if we don’t write it, publish and share our stories it’s totally pointless. Not all of us walk the same path. Our stories and experiences differ from each other.

I like him a lot, the one who prefers to live life openly.  It’s a sign of maturity, to accept life’s struggles. To admit to the whole world that one makes mistakes. He inspires me to write again and use that talent to inspire people. He had been a very good friend. I did not ask, but He came.Deo Gratias!

(I've edited some parts, the advantage of blogger.. april 30, 2012) 

Precious as Gold

A dream came upon me

Offered jewels made of gold

I willingly accepted it

A gift it was told

 

Then everything changed

The giver suddenly disappeared

Leaving me in wonder

How can one love any other

 

Questions unanswered

Like why give gold

Silver may just be enough

And love fought not sold

 

Seasons came

Time flew

Answerd did came

Then I found you

 

You are the hidden treasure

More precious than gold

How come no one found you

Except me the one called

 

You will always be

My healer and my strength

You’ve found my heart

In the desert full of filth

 

One of these days

You’ll read this

Written when I found peace

With your love I am blest

 ~March 12, 2012

To: tppII  From: jyn

Copyright: Jyn2012

M.I.A. Friend

Last September because of the said break-up I had my facebook account temporary deactivated. You see, I am putting the blame on the said social networking site. Who would not? Ours is a long distance relationship and for 4 years, we communicate through text messaging and through calls. Then last April he joined FB (facebook). I told myself, we could talk more often now.

Also on that same month, cellphone networks had updated their services; facebook can now be easily accessed through WAP. Suncellular (one of the networks) offered free txt-based browsing for FB. At work I have a fast connection for SUN WAP, and it’s free, so anytime I want I can check my FB account.

But well, FB worked against us. He’s new to this kind of technology, while I am not. I learned how to use the internet years back. It’s one of the things I am good at. I learned internet the first time when it was first introduced in Baguio year 1998. So I am really an expert. For newbie’s, it’s like being in a jungle that if you don’t know the way you’ll get lost.

September is my birth month. And it happened on September 1, 2011. He ended everything through a series of text message. It’s a very cold way to end 4+ years of relationship. And the most hurtful thing that he told me was he never loved me for the past 4 years. A lie, he had been courting me for the 15 years. Everyone knows that I am his long time crush. Love cannot only be expressed by words but also by action, and he had shown me that for those years.

We’ve know each other since our childhood years. We were childhood friends; he was even my first crush. I never thought my “kababata” will do that to me. Sure, we can end things but not that way. So I kept my silence for months, remove all the entries here in my blog. I removed life events in my timeline. I’m just too proud to admit that I made a very terrible mistake in my life. A perfectionist like me, don’t easily accept a failure.

On my 34th birthday, my friends asked my younger sister, where’s my facebook. They can’t even greet me and post in my wall. Some of them know my cp number, and they greeted me through text message. And some of them posted their greetings in my sister’s facebook wall. And they are the one who told my sis that I was MIA (Missing in Action).

Then I realized why be so sad, I am blessed. I have many friends. For the past years I am an absentee friend to my college barkada. When that happened, the first person I remembered calling was one of my closest friend in college. Most of my best friends are no longer here in the Philippines, they have already migrated to US and to other parts of the world. They’re busy with their work and kids that I don’t want to bother them anymore. She did not complain though that I only remember calling her now that I need someone to talk. She’s my angel.

Also at work, I am not alone. There are 3 of us who undergone break-up . Theirs could not be called a “break-up” but rather they separated from their husbands. I call our group, “Grupo ng Sawi” ( Group of the Broken hearted). They help me move on and be happy despite of what happened. Our president (I am the secretary, I am accepting members in case you want to join hehehe) told me, “Makaunget ka pay Jean? Bay bay an mon, Bag sika ket boyfriend mo laeng, Makabirok ka latta ti kasukat na!” Their relationship with their husbands was not mended even at this time. They are good support group; they had helped me cope up with the loss, and accepted that these things happen for a purpose.

My family also had been very supportive. I am really blessed, to be where I am now. Facing it alone is hard, but with my family and friends here, I had healed and moved on.

Facebook was never the culprit, I realized it now. It is still us the users. Blaming it was a very childish thing to do.

But I need to be away and be silent for a while. It’s like being in a crossroad, and thinking which way to go. There are no roads that would lead you back. All roads will keep you moving forward. My facebook page may mislead you but not this blog. I may look younger than my age, but I am a strong person. Being in and out of a relationship had been part of my life for the past few years. And every time it happens I can stand up and face the world again, it just takes some time.

My favourite song I play in church goes,
Umasa ka sa Diyos ang mabuti’y gawin
At Manahan kang ligtas sa lupain
Sa Diyos mo hanapin ang kaligayahan
At pangarap mo ay makakamtan.

Trust in the Lord. Surely He knows what He’s doing. I am praying though that my “Oasis” will stay forever. I am keeping my fingers crossed. (^-^)

Act II: Bee Happy

I am making up with the time lost for the past years of not updating my blog. I thought a few months back that I no longer have this talent of writing. Almost 5 years of not documenting anything. I was in love with someone who can’t even tell me the truth. And of course, I was too “dedma” to notice that our relationship is not doing well. Sayang lang kasi yong lost time. I am the kind of person na, if ayaw huwag pilitin, and if di ka sure eh di huwag. So pag di kasi puwede huwag nang patagalin. Sabihin in a nice way, kasi there’s really a way of saying and ending things na di naman ganoon masasaktan ang tao.

Few years back I handle a HIV Testing Lab. And since I am the one trained, I am the one who will tell a patient that he’s HIV positive. It’s really a depressing job, it was never easy. Telling them, that they got few years to live was really a difficult task. That’s why I did not renew my proficiency for HIV anymore, and I noticed that if I am the one handling it, there’s always a confirmed HIV patient. But there is really a way of telling that won’t hurt that much.

Act II, Bee Happy. Everyone smiles if they see Jollibee. Jollibee is the official mascot of the most popular food chain here, the Jollibee Food Corporation. I am Jollibee, without the mask. Many times people approach me here and ask, “O kailan na ang kasal?”. This is a small town, and people know each other lives. It’s who we are, and it’s fine with me, even if they keep on asking. A few months back, I can’t answer that with a jolly face. But now, I just smile, and I say “Malapit na po!” I don’t even have a groom, but they don’t know that. If I’ll tell them the truth, hahaba pa. So better lie. Well, if they want to know, just read this blog.

Even if you’re stressed, watching Jollibee dancing through the tune of “Waca Waca” will surely bring smile to your face. There’s no age group that Jollibee cannot touch, even seniors feel young when they see him. I am happy now, and I promised myself to enjoy life and always touch other people’s lives by being happy.

Some quotes

“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy”

Never let go of hope one day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself, “How did I get through all that?”

Thus the road to happiness is not to give up hope. Someone will come to make me happy, maybe a fellow Jollibee.

Act I: Dedma

Someone’s quote for the day was this one, “But some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint-like a heartbeat. And pure love, why, some day’s it’s so quiet. You don’t even know it’s there”

And the one written on my post card is my answer to that quote.

Why?

I have perfected that act, to play “dedma”. I hear nothing and I see nothing, pretending that nothing exists even if they are. Like as if nothing happens. Most of the time, even if I know and felt that there is something I just ignore it. For me to notice something you have to say it loud for me to hear it well, if you’ll just stay quiet I won’t know.

Same as to working in a lab, where there is no separate receiving room for patients. Patients will disturb and asks me even if they see that I am doing microscopy work. They can’t even wait for a minute or two. They don’t seem to know that I am concentrating. That’s why even if I hear them I just ignore it. Maghintay na lang for their turn and I’ll give my full attention.

I did not even change my cell phone number for years; most people change their numbers frequently. SIM cards are quite cheap that anyone can afford it. But I do not, like what is said here I am good at ignoring people.

But the truth is I notice every single detail. Sinasadya ko lang na huwag pansinin. My eyes notice every dot, every change in color. My hands can feel veins even if they are not that visible. My heart knows even if you won’t tell me. I can even forecast that everything will be all right someday. I am that gifted. I just hope that someday you’ll know it too.

Sunrise and Sunsets

Blurry Red Sunset at Dasol Bay by JynMelgar

Sunrise by Karen Peterson

 

 





February 22, 2012

May mga pangyayari na parang nauulit lang. Maging ang mga emosyon at mga pinagdadaanan. Sinulat ko ito 7 taon na ang nakakalipas, hindi ko inakalang mauulit muli. Ako ulit ang bida, pero ibang mga character na ang aking nakasama. Sa totoo lang, mula noon, wala pa rin talaga akong nakasama sa panonood ng takipsilim. Siguro hindi ko pa nga talaga nakilala ang taong binabanggit ko na makakasama sa  habang buhay. Inakala ko lang na iyon na, hindi pa pala. Masyado lang akong nagmamarunong. Tuloy, masyado akong umasa at nasaktan. Nakalimutan ko nga sa haba ng panahon ang pagsusulat, dahil inakala ko na natagpuan ko ang matagal ko nang hinahanap. Sa haba ng panahon, unti lang ang mga ala-ala, pati mga pictures unti lang rin. Nakakalimutan nga rin, totoo marahil, na ang gamot sa pusong sugatan ay puso rin.

 

SUNSETS feb. 24, 2005

 

Sunset, sa tagalog dapithapon.

Scene 1:   Nakatayo ako sa veranda ng isang mataas na gusali. Natatanaw ko ang Manila Bay sa dako roon. Ibinulong mo sa akin. Hintayin mo ako at panoorin natin ang pamosong dapithapon sa Manila Bay. Naghintay ako, umalis ako sa may veranda. Naghintay ako na at di ko na tinignan ang oras. Hindi ko pinansin na tumatakbo ang bawat sandali. Hanggang dumating ka, at sinabi mong, "Halika at panoorin na natin ang paglubog ng araw".

            Ngunit huli na, lumubog na ang araw. Pareho nating di nasaliyan ang araw araw na pangitain na sa karamihan ay simpleng bagay na lamang. Oo nga, ordinaryo na lamang iyon, umiinog ang mundo, sunset's are usual occurrence. But one thing is, iyon lang ang pagkakataon na magkasama tayong mag-appreciate sa kalawakang nilikha ng Maykapal.

 

Scene 2: Sunset ulit, this time nasa beach ako. Nag-iisa, nangangarap na sana kasama kita sa oras na iyon. Ngayon ayaw ko nang palampasin ang pagkakataon na maski sa picture man lamang eh mapagkit sa aking isipan ang magandang paglubog ng araw. Ang lungkot kasi wala ka. Sabi ko sa aking sarili, darating din ang araw na makakasama din kita.

 

Sa hinaharap: Nawala ka sa buhay ko, pero ang dapithapon nandyan pa rin. Patuloy iinog ang mundo. Umiyak man ako, walang nakakaalam. Walang nakakakita, marahil hindi mo malalaman. Masakit man pero patuloy ang buhay.

Balang araw may isang magmamahal at mamahalin ko na makakasama sa bawat dapithapon. Hindi lang sa dapithapon, kundi sa bawat bukang liwayway, at sa bawat segundo ng aking buhay.  Patuloy akong aasa na balang araw makilala ko ang taong ito. Salamat sa dapithapon, pagkat sa pagsapit ng dilim, magbibigay ng liwanag di lang ang mga bituin kundi ang buwan. Mahaba man ang gabi, tama lang iyon para maipahinga ang pagal na kaisipan at katawan. Darating din ang bagong umaga.