Act I: Dedma

Someone’s quote for the day was this one, “But some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint-like a heartbeat. And pure love, why, some day’s it’s so quiet. You don’t even know it’s there”

And the one written on my post card is my answer to that quote.

Why?

I have perfected that act, to play “dedma”. I hear nothing and I see nothing, pretending that nothing exists even if they are. Like as if nothing happens. Most of the time, even if I know and felt that there is something I just ignore it. For me to notice something you have to say it loud for me to hear it well, if you’ll just stay quiet I won’t know.

Same as to working in a lab, where there is no separate receiving room for patients. Patients will disturb and asks me even if they see that I am doing microscopy work. They can’t even wait for a minute or two. They don’t seem to know that I am concentrating. That’s why even if I hear them I just ignore it. Maghintay na lang for their turn and I’ll give my full attention.

I did not even change my cell phone number for years; most people change their numbers frequently. SIM cards are quite cheap that anyone can afford it. But I do not, like what is said here I am good at ignoring people.

But the truth is I notice every single detail. Sinasadya ko lang na huwag pansinin. My eyes notice every dot, every change in color. My hands can feel veins even if they are not that visible. My heart knows even if you won’t tell me. I can even forecast that everything will be all right someday. I am that gifted. I just hope that someday you’ll know it too.