An Oasis in the Desert

After a very long journey in the hot and humid desert, I’ve finally found an oasis. I’ll rest a bit my weary bones, enjoy the refreshing water before I’ll go and finish my journey.

I see him just like an oasis, a shelter. He may not be a specialist, a diplomate or a fellow, but he had made the impossible, fixing my broken heart. Something that I thought will happen in a period of a year or 2 years time. My sister told me, to quickly fix my brokenness, move fast, and meet people and date, since I am not really getting any younger. Time is critical. Outside I may look fresh from college, but my ova are quite old. LOL

I actually noticed him last May,liking my wall posts. But I just ignored it; I was even asking myself if we met in college. Something that I can’t remember until now, If I even said “Hi” to him when we we’re undergrads. I am really like that, when my focus is on one thing I ignore other things that blocks my way. It is one of my very irritating traits. Or I may just be loyal or too goal oriented.

But last December I finally had a glimpse of him since his facebook page is active. Amusing wall posts, a comic relief. It’s really nice to see someone, who is very much bored with his work could find time to amuse people. And then just before January ends, he made this stupid post on his wall, advertising that he’s online and wants to chat. Bored like him, I talked to him through FB chat.

And from that moment on, we’ve been friends. It’s nice to talk with a batch mate in college, almost the same interest, and queer though that at our age we are both single. At this age where most of our colleagues and other batch mates have kids; and even some are on their second marriages.

For now, I see him as an oasis, a shelter, a refuge. It’s okay if he won’t stay for a very long while; I want to say thanks because for a short period of time, He had brought my senses back and made me see life on the other perspective.

Now I agree to what Joshua Harris wrote on his book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”, which he says, “To girls reading this book, a reminder to keep your standards high. Require all things that are grand and true. As you consider the possibility of marriage, don’t lower your standards for a moment; any guy who asks you to do so isn’t worth your time.”

I believe God has the best plans for me. He’ll never let down His church organist.

The Three Musketeers

We had Program Implementation Review and Year-end evaluation in SBMA. Together with our Physician and Pharmacist from OSC, we presented the Malaria Status of our town. I am the coordinator for the said program thus I am the one who did all the reports and presented it to the Regional and Provincial Coordinator. One of the big differences of working in a hospital from Rural Health Centers are collating data and presenting a report.

I am really expecting that our physician would help me add more inputs, but what I have observed from other RHUs who had a male boss, most of the reporting and planning are done either by the Nurse, Med. Tech. or the midwife. Good thing our MHO is female, thus most of the time she does all the reporting and planning.

We travelled through the private car of our physician. Our dentist also went with us. Our doctor is our driver and our baggage boy. Good thing, he doesn’t complain, maybe he’s afraid of Ate Jean. One thing I observed though, from his car stereo, one song that keeps on repeating, I really wonder if the Audio CD is defective. The song is “Marry Me”, originally sung by Bruno Mars, but the version he has is some sort of a cappella and acoustic version.

Hearing it many times, I almost told him, “Okay I marry you”, hahaha! I really felt there is something wrong. He is not concentrating with the Seminar/Workshop and he’s not helping me with the planning. He made notes for the planning but he did not give it to me. I consider him as a younger brother, thus it’s really weird to see him act strangely. All I know is he has set his wedding on July.

Or maybe, all are depressed because few days from now it’s Valentines’ Day. I admit, even me had undergone depression for the past few weeks. This year, for the first time after more than 4 years, I am single. My drama since the first day of February is, “Wala man lang akong masabihan ng Happy Valentines’ Day, I love you!”

So I call our group, the 3 musketeers, one lost her groom (me), one is soon to be groom (the doc) and one who’s thinking to be a nun (the pharmacist) . But with our minds always drifting somewhere we still had done our job well.

~ February 09, 2012 @ Buena Casa Hosteria, SBMA

Maskara

Minsan iniisip ko, bakit kailangan pa nating itago kung ano at sino tayo sa isang maskara. Hindi ba pwedeng maging totoo na lang? Hindi lang sa iyong sarili kundi pati na rin sa ibang tao?

Ang maskara, maitago man ang kaanyuan, lalabas din kung ano ang tunay na pagkatao. Dahil ang bulok, pabanguhan man ng isang tambak na pabango, aalingasaw pa rin ang baho.Malalim ba ang nararating ng aking kaisipan? Marahil nga?Sapagkat sa mundong ito, hindi natin mapagkakasya sa isang talata, o minsan pa nga sa isang libro ang tunay nating pagkatao. Patuloy kasi tayong binabago ng panahon, minsan sa isang kisap mata ang kinalakhan nating ugali ay napapalitan. Wika nga sa salitang Inglis "the only constant thing in this world is change".

Tulad ng pagkakaibigan. Makikilala lamang kung sino ang totoo sa pagtagal ng panahon. Ang kaibigan na di ka kayang iwanan kahit kalimitan naalala mo lamang sa mga oras ng kalungkutan. Kaibigan na kaya kang mahalin kahit di ka perperkto, kaya kunsitihin pati kalokohan mo. Ang pagsasamahang totoo wika nga nila’y tulad ng isang alak, habang tumatagal lalong sumasarap.Kaya kang mahalin at kilalanin kahit natatabingan pa ng isang maskara.

Paminsan minsan, ang maskara ito hindi man nakikita,nararamdaman na lamang. Maaring isa rin ako sa karamihan na nagsusuot nito,hindi ko iyon maikakaila, pero sana kahit alisin ko ang aking maskara matutuhan pa ring tanggapin na tunay ang pagkakaibigan at pagmamahal na kaya kong ibigay..


jean December 10, 2004

Blinks

Darkness engulfs me
My eyes are searching for light
Until I saw one
Blink it goes
It appears
Then, suddenly it's gone
But it's back again
Maybe just a signal light
To show the world
That there's existence
On the darkness
Of the night
But I don't like a blink
That comes and goes
I wish for a star
That stays
Be it day or night
Can you be
Not just this blink
But my shining star?
To stay forever lighted
And bring
Love and joy in my life….