Of Shadows and Sundials

Sundial Dreams by Kevin Kern

I am a research addict. That’s why google is my favorite search engine. I search even my name every now and then. Thus I searched “his” name. And one of the results was a music sheet titled, Sundial Dreams by Kevin Kern. From such I know that he’s a pianist. Like my mentors (who are both younger than me) and my first boyfriend.

I had my first boyfriend when I was 25 years old. He’s a nurse, also a pianist. I even gave him some of my piano pieces, those very difficult ones. He was the one who kept on telling my mother, “God willing, Ma”. But again no matter how much you wanted something, when it still not’s God’s time and plan, you would not end up together. We move on with our lives, he’s married now, and migrated to US.

What about shadows and sundials?

“Never fear shadows they simply mean there is light shining somewhere”
-tpp,md march 23, 2012 3am

TEOF76,MD and the SUNDIAL AT THE GRIFFITH OBSERVATORY, LA,CA, USA

FRANCIS with the SUNDIAL, a close up Shot

There are three factors to cast a shadow. A light source, an object and the angle and distance from the light source. Sundials are made from that theory. One can tell time by using such. But well they all rely on the light source, the sun.

If I am the sun, the brightest star, why would I fear a mere shadow? Shadows rely on my light for their existence. I don’t really care how many shadows produced by my extensive light, I am here to shine, and that’s why I do best. Then I’ll do that for the rest of my life.

Done were the days I am just a mere shadow. Just be the one among the rest. There always a time to shine. Someone did come and said “Why are you keeping it, your talents, your skills, and your capacity to be a “sun”. Somebody has to do it, and this time God chose you. And you have no choice but to do it now.”

A shadow is just a shadow. Very few notice it, only those who fear the intense heat of the sun and those who are tired of too much sun exposure. Vampires surely, they’ll gladly appreciate a shadow.

One more thing, if one is afraid of a shadow, what will happen if there’s total darkness? No light at all. One can be disoriented, lost and a living dead perhaps. (Just a thought)

There a song I’ve learned when I was in high school choir, it goes. “Be not afraid, I go before you always, Come, follow me and I will give you rest”. We sung this song during a Baccalaureate Mass of 1994 in SLU – Baguio City, when again I was a member of LITCOM Ministry of Sacred Music. That same song was our entrance song.

So I never fear anything, dark alleys, darkness, sickness, broken relationships and storms. Why would I be, God says so, “Be not afraid”. And surely I won’t.

And as for shadows, I really appreciate shadows casted through my light. I just hope that during those times that they were my shadows, they have learned a lot, and when it’s their time, I hope they allow themselves to shine.

JAMY at the GRIFFITH OBSERVATORY

THE GRIFFITH OBSERVATORY

Griffith Observatory is a facility in Los Angeles, California sitting on the south-facing slope of Mount Hollywood in Los Angeles' Griffith Park. It commands a view of the Los Angeles Basin, including Downtown Los Angeles to the southeast, Hollywood to the south, and the Pacific Ocean to the southwest. The observatory is a popular tourist attraction with an extensive array of space and science-related displays. Since the observatory opened in 1935, admission has been free, in accordance with Griffith's will.

3,015 acres (12.20 km²) of land surrounding the observatory was donated to the City of Los Angeles by ColonelGriffith J. Griffith on December 16, 1896.^[1] In his will Griffith donated funds to build an observatory, exhibit hall, andplanetarium on the donated land. Griffith's objective was to make astronomy accessible by the public, as opposed to the prevailing idea that observatories should be located on remote mountaintops and restricted to scientists.^[2]

Griffith drafted detailed specifications for the observatory. In drafting the plans, he consulted with Walter Adams, the future director of Mount Wilson Observatory, and George Ellery Hale, who founded (with Andrew Carnegie) the first astrophysical telescope in Los Angeles.^[2]

Griffith_Observatory On Wikipedia

Official Site of Griffith Observatory

Act I: Dedma

Someone’s quote for the day was this one, “But some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint-like a heartbeat. And pure love, why, some day’s it’s so quiet. You don’t even know it’s there”

And the one written on my post card is my answer to that quote.

Why?

I have perfected that act, to play “dedma”. I hear nothing and I see nothing, pretending that nothing exists even if they are. Like as if nothing happens. Most of the time, even if I know and felt that there is something I just ignore it. For me to notice something you have to say it loud for me to hear it well, if you’ll just stay quiet I won’t know.

Same as to working in a lab, where there is no separate receiving room for patients. Patients will disturb and asks me even if they see that I am doing microscopy work. They can’t even wait for a minute or two. They don’t seem to know that I am concentrating. That’s why even if I hear them I just ignore it. Maghintay na lang for their turn and I’ll give my full attention.

I did not even change my cell phone number for years; most people change their numbers frequently. SIM cards are quite cheap that anyone can afford it. But I do not, like what is said here I am good at ignoring people.

But the truth is I notice every single detail. Sinasadya ko lang na huwag pansinin. My eyes notice every dot, every change in color. My hands can feel veins even if they are not that visible. My heart knows even if you won’t tell me. I can even forecast that everything will be all right someday. I am that gifted. I just hope that someday you’ll know it too.